“Finally Recognized”
Climbing the rusted caracol, I
found myself happy to let you go first,
yielding center stage, while you basked
in a potpourri of much deserved applause.
Goofy, silly, awkward, somewhat clumsy;
perfect in every way.
Senescence was of no concern as
we walked the quad and you proudly
displayed that emblazoned medallion
trophy-cased around your neck.
Mine savagely stuffed in some pocket;
I forget which one.
Young lovers lay on a bed of
kiwi-colored grass; laughing,
tickling their bodies and their fancies.
Their moment though, eclipsed by yours.
Miraculously cured from faux insignificance
and homesick heartache.
notes: This is one of the first poems I wrote. It was originally written for Moday Melting before I had a blog of my own. Hope you enjoy (even if this is your second time reading this poem.) 🙂
New View From Here 
I thought you were going to say you had been Freshly Pressed! 😛
I love this poem though..you have a very good habit of making your pieces quite descriptive..I can envision what is being written..it’s lovely 🙂
Thanks 🙂 Great hearing from you today!
Yay! I’m so glad you posted this one on your blog. Like I said the other day (maybe yesterday), this is my favorite. 🙂
Thanks for the kind words. And thanks for the inspiration you provide.
🙂
i love the heart of the write which is allowing someeone else to have that moment because they needed it more than you…that is a beautiful thing…
I’m not typically a huge fan of present-day poetry but there is something about yours that really touches me. This was my first time reading it but I read it twice and still enjoyed. And would the third, fourth, and fifth time around.
LOL…what a great comment. One of the best compliments I could ever hope for!
See, I’m already here and I love it! I can’t wait to read more 🙂
Thanks 🙂 You are very encouraging!
Thought I recognized some of those words! 🙂
Still as good as when i read it the first time.
Thanks Mark….your post for the “melting” this week was incredible….very moving!
Lovely written, great sense of self-sacrifice.
Thanks Aaron….enjoyed yours today!
You will be rewarded for stepping aside for someone else.
Thanks Laurie….that’s a great comment! In many ways I have already been rewarded, but “putting others before self” is a daily challenge!
Well done. I love some of these images you’ve created with the words.
Thanks 🙂 About to head over to your place and get caught up.
I like the poem AND the story it tells! Very nice!
Thanks Charles….can’t wait to read about the “bumblebee-bowling-ball”….what a great title!
You got it going on poetry-wise, You sure do. A natural, obviously.
Were they medallions of new love? I’m piqued!
Thanks Jannie…what a wonderful comment from a wonderful poet!
I love the idea of “new love” being represented by those medallions…and love/relationships is one of the layers I had in mind when writing the poem.
But the *literal* event that inspired this poem also involved literal medallions 🙂
Really nice. Love the adjectives and images in here. Some truly cool words as well, like caracol and senesence . Very nice read thanks
Thanks hobgloblin, though I can’t take too much credit for the words…those were in a prompt and I incorporated them into the poem. Nonetheless, I’m pleased with the write, and very appreciative of your comments!
This is the comment I left you when you guest-posted this poem on my blog a while back (before you started your own, if you can even remember such a time):
This is seriously one of the best poems I’ve read in months, and it far surpasses anything I’ve written. One of the most effective devices used is lack of gender assignment. It could work for any number of scenarios. They could be friends or more. The speaker could be a man or woman. It could be a literal college setting, or it could be a metaphor for the “quad” of life. All elements could be literal or metaphorical, in fact. The caracol representing aging, forward movement through seasons of life, twisting and turning. The medallions, any of life’s successes or talents worn proudly or buried so that another can shine.
Your weaving of the assigned words is flawless, natural. None stood out of place, except maybe “kiwi.” But its unique usage just made me picture under-watered grass, mostly green with bits of dead brown beginning to show through. Its prickles probably adding to the tickling already taking place.
I loved your aside about the couple and how you brought it back to the “you” in the story with “Their moment though, eclipsed by yours’”
I think your ending is very strong, possibly going back to the previous reference to campus life, a time in which many feel off kilter, insignificant, and homesick. Of course, this also works on a spiritual level, in the way one can feel “homesick” for heaven as well as insignificant compared to others who are viewed as “better” or “good” or even compared to Jesus himself.
This simple line is my favorite: “I forget which one.” Not only did you put your medallion away so that someone else could get all the attention, but you genuinely didn’t care about your own. Your hands were applauding the loudest amongst the potpourri audience.
… Although, if senescence is of no concern now, it must be at other times. Along with the contrast of the “young lovers,” signs point to this being an older couple. Perhaps having returned for a reunion or ceremony of some sort.
Thank you for taking the time to find that comment and share it once again. That is seriously one of the highest compliments I’ve ever received for anything I’ve ever done ever! Can you tell I’ll “ever” be grateful for those words? 🙂 It’s especially rewarding to me b/c I know how much you love poetry, and how much really good poetry you read on a daily basis…so again, thank you!
By the way, here’s an “odd” little fact to make you happy: as I type this reply to your comment, my page view number is at 3333.
That is awesome!!!
Time for a new post, sweet pea. … You don’t have to write a poem for the melting this week if you don’t want to. But I’d hate for you to break your streak. 🙂
I’m planning to let the words melt for sure! Later tonight…
Sweet daddy. I can’t wait. 🙂
This was certainly worth the re-post! glad I got to read it. thank you! The only problem I had at the end was I wanted more!
wait…does that mean I wanted less of you and more of them? 😉
LOL…I think so! What’s up with that?!
What a wonderful expression of love, giving every inch of the spotlight to another. And this?
Young lovers lay on a bed of
kiwi-colored grass; laughing,
tickling their bodies and their fancies.
Their moment though, eclipsed by yours.
Delightful.
Thanks Patti….I’m so glad you commented on the poem and shared the lines you liked!
Some gorgeous imagery here, New View. Thanks for the very nice comment on my blog. It is much appreciated.
Pamela
You’re welcome for comments on your blog….I think you have a great blog and some amazing poetry!
Really enjoyed this. You have a skill for crafting wonderful images with your words.
Thanks! Great to see you here.
Amazing imagery here. 🙂 You see people and beauty with wonderful eyes.
Love from Rach