RSS Feed

The thrust of this poem is…

the letters have     c
                                 o
                                  l
                                  l
                                 a
                                 p
                                 s
                                 e
                                 d
black holes threaten to swallow whole
any abstract word they attempted to create

even concrete words find themselves
endangered, drowning in the pools of
quizzes and lectures, having grown
weary from academic nonsense

the narrow views of those who think they
know more than the Omniscient:
chronic disease filling lungs with a
sickness worse than pneumonia

pretty piano music plays softly while
silver-tongued lies relentlessly reveal
their designs of attack on the Spirit

refuge is offered:
no latchstring is needed
to unlock some imagined bolt—

protection found
in the Word which never will collapse.

written for Monday Melting #19

Advertisements

21 responses »

  1. purpleowltree1234

    This is a goodie! So many thoughts on the Word never collapsing!! Would take up a whole poet to express! haha I try not to write comments which are longer than the posts. Hahaha! 🙂 I will read this one again. Keep writing and keep sharing, you have a rapt audience. 🙂 Love from Rach.

    Reply
    • rosemary mint

      Carmen (et al) … I’ve tried to leave you comments on your blog, but I think they’re going to your spam folder. If you could fish them out, that would be lovely. 🙂

      Reply
  2. rosemary mint

    Very good! I like your framing, using “collapse” at the beginning and coming back to it at the end. My very favorite part is the visual appeal created by your collapsing “collapsed.”

    That image perfectly represents what can happen to scripture, truth, knowledge when the brain collapses outside the walls of the Bible.

    I love “thrust” in your title followed soon after by “collapsed,” as if the thrust knocked all the letters over. This reminds me of how our kids like to mess up our Scrabble games, quickly and easily knocking over our carefully placed words. I suppose Satan is a big kid messing around with all our gameboards.

    “drowning in the pools of quizzes and lectures” … This makes me think of the transition from high school to college, a young adult stepping out of the parents’ home into independence and how his/her spiritual life can fall apart at this point. And the following lines speak to the fact that intellectuals often disregard scripture as foolishness.

    “pretty piano music plays softly while” … I don’t care for the word “pretty” in this line; I would say something like “soft piano music plays while” or “piano keys press softly while” … particularly because this goes into my favorite line: “silver-tongued lies relentlessly reveal.” Silver-tongued is awesome.

    I really like this imagery:
    “refuge is offered:
    no latchstring is needed
    to unlock some imagined bolt”

    You might want to just entitle your poem “Thrust.”

    So very clever to start off talking about letters breaking apart (not forming a word) and then ending with the Word that cannot be broken apart. This is a very smart poem. Wonderful work, sweetie. I’m impressed! 🙂

    Reply
  3. Great job with the emotional “up” and “down”.

    Reply
  4. nice…i like the concrete at the beginning and i def like the contrast as well as you move from the dessintegration of letters to the Word that lasts forever as well…

    Reply
  5. I really do love the structure here, so very well done.

    And the picture. I hate (well, not quite that bad) that game. Ten minutes later and then I’d think of the word I should of put down, as opposed to It, or And.

    Reply
  6. Wow, I absolutely love that we were forced to fall and catch ourselves somewhere within. Along with a word game, I think that this piece suggests life to be a dangerous game where hope dwells in the spaces where love and faith remain. Or maybe I’m completely off. 🙂 Anyway, a pleasure to read!

    Reply
  7. This gets better every time I reread it. So much to it with twisting and turning juxtapositions.
    Words and letters having a life of their own, away from our governing them. Like the toys in the Nutcracker.

    Reply
  8. With the pic, I can see the correlation with Scrabble. But I feel the exact the same way while trying to put a poem together. I really enjoyed this piece.

    Reply
  9. Anne Katherine

    Most everything does collapse, doesn’t it… no matter how omniscient we think we are. Very impressed how you used so many of the words (was it all of them?) – I myself get overwhelmed (and well, collapse) and end up using just the ones I like. Nice job and nice point!

    Reply
  10. really clever, well done.

    Reply
  11. hobgoblin2011

    very cool piece. great imagery makes great lines and you’ve done both here. The collapsed projection was just a bonus to such a good read. Thanks

    Reply
  12. Love the wordplay structure at the beginning and this stanza: “even concrete words find themselves endangered, drowning in the pools of quizzes and lectures, having grown weary from academic nonsense” … as a college student, this hit home 🙂 Cool poem, has a deeper meaning than expected.

    Reply
  13. Loved your play with the scramble photo — and black holes — to the world in which we live as drowning in trivia! the Word stands — good nod to belief!
    Thanks!

    Reply
  14. rosemary mint

    Just stopping by to see if you had a new post yet. 🙂

    Reply
  15. hypercryptical

    Excellently creative!

    Anna :o]

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: