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Why He Had to Hitchhike Home

“Why He Had to Hitchhike Home”

She found it rather quixotic indeed
Her date’s idea of a good time would lead
Straight to this seat, this concert hall, this town
Hearing cadre of violists get down
Play tunes of bohemian rhapsody
Bit much for this girl of simplicity
 
So during a lovely intermezzo
She decided to really impresso
Unsutured herself from theater chair
In spindle-like fashion, let down her hair
Roving hands grabbing his pockets surprised
And excitedly, he looked in her eyes
 
Hope sprang infernal; in fact, atrophied—
She only reached in to bilk him of keys

 

Notes:  I wrote this for Shawnas Monday Melting prompt & today’s d’verse prompt.  I was able to incorporate nearly all of Shawna’s words while writing this “Clarian” Sonnet.  Had much fun with the prompts.  Hope you enjoy!

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47 responses »

  1. I can’t wait to read the smashing comments this will earn you. It is fantastic!!! I know everyone will love it. 🙂

    Reply
  2. oh, she swiped the keys in the end…haha…was waiting for why you had to hitchhike and you did not disappoint…lol…this was a very fun take on the sonnet…

    Reply
  3. I’m glad Shawna laughed because so did I. This is wonderful, delightful, adorable.
    “So during a lovely intermezzo
    She decided to really impresso”
    “Roving hands grabbing his pockets surprised”
    “Hope sprang infernal; in fact, atrophied—
    She only reached in to bilk him of keys”
    Still laughing yet appreciating the work of creativity.

    Reply
  4. Very impressive use of those killer words… and in the form of a sonnet, too. Bravo!

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  5. lol @ …intermezzo/impresso…thats creative. I’m also glad you explained your wife’s contribution to the poem in the end, because that makes this poem a “duet”. You guys are such a good team together!

    Reply
    • Thanks for the encouragement…I’ll have to see if I can get here to sing a real duet with me some day 😉 Hope things are going well!

      Reply
    • Ha! Upon my first reading of this comment, I thought you were thinking I was the one who had stolen the keys and that was my “contribution” to the poem. 🙂

      Reply
  6. This is a meritorious piece of work. I loved the flow and the use of language. Very well done, my friend! Now, I have to go read it again 😀

    Reply
  7. Awwww, brilliant and am all smiles.. I enjoy the view, Thank you..

    Reply
  8. You started it all with the mystery of that title, set it up so expertly, and then let us have it with that ending. And the Clarian sonnet, with its rhymed couplets, helps set up the readers’ expectation, before the twist in the tale. Well done!

    Reply
  9. haha…thanks for the smile…now things can be quite different from what they look like on first sight…very cool

    Reply
  10. Serves him right for taking a country girl to that uppity joint!
    Looks like you did good withthe Clarian thing (it was kinda uppity for me, but fun anyway)
    http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/05/03/then-quickly-gone/

    Reply
  11. Very tongue in cheek, but fun and reminds me of a limerick in its cadenced, sharp wit.

    Reply
    • Thanks Hedge….I really had a great cadence in my head when I wrote it, so I’m glad you “heard” that….it has seemed a bit off in my reading of it since the write, but that may just be due to changing a word or two before hitting the ‘publish” button 🙂

      Reply
  12. Aside from liking a good bohemian violin, I really like that girl. Well done with words and form. How brave to go two at once.

    Reply
  13. whimsy and rhythm lead the beat here,great ending !! Well Done!!

    Reply
  14. Cute little story && it is funny how he got all excited & the twist in the end – JUST REACHING FOR THE KEYS. What a tease haha. Mission accomplished, he was intrigued :-p

    Reply
  15. Such an interesting approach, love it 🙂

    Reply
  16. purpleowltree1234

    Hahahahahhaa!! 😀 Damn!! hahaha!
    Rach.

    Reply

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