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How to create a 93% chance of success in your marriage!

I originally started this blog with the intention to mostly write about marriage & men stepping up as “servant leaders” in their homes, churches, and communities.  I’ve branched out quite a bit since then, which has been enjoyable.  But I still have a passion for the issues mentioned above.  Here is a great post I came across yesterday and wanted to share with others on wordpress.  This article can be found on Trey Morgan’s site.

I want to be a 5 to 1 husband!

Statistics on marriage scare me, but the Studer Group has released a new study on “Compliment to Criticism” ratio. They’ve told us from their studies, that people in general need 3 compliments given for every 1 criticism that is said to them. While that didn’t surprise me, the following statistic FLOORED me …

“Reports now show that when it comes to marriage, if you have a 5 to 1 compliment to criticism ratio, the divorce rate in that marriage drops from 50% to 7%.”

DID YOU CATCH THAT, husbands and wives? We are now learning how to beat the old statistic that says that 50% of all marriages will end in divorce. How? Give 5 compliments to your spouse for every 1 negative thing you say. When you take on the 5 to 1 plan, the divorce rate in your marriage drops to 7%. I like those odds!

My goal (and hopefully yours) today is to become a 5 to 1 kind of spouse. Today is a great day to start.

5 to 1 … that’s it! And the divorce rate goes from 50% to 7% … It’s time to pass the word.

You up for the 5-1 challenge with your spouse?

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49 responses »

  1. Just for clarification, I only wrote the opening paragraph of this post. The rest is quoted from Trey Morgan’s blog & is linked in my opening.

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  2. I may have to make this a household policy — using that ratio as a guide would be beneficial to all six of us!

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  3. I love this! And it is so true! I believe with all certainty the secret to a lasting marriage is constant encouragements and compliments. Thanks for sharing this!

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  4. five compliments daily is so minimal considering a marriage lasting for many years

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  5. Spot on, good advice.

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  6. Thanks for sharing this! I’m putting it out on FB now…

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  7. Too late for me but that’s amazing. Should be easy; there’s so much good to say about women. 🙂

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  8. Noel Williams (prhayz) www.prhayz.com

    I probably am the only one that do not agree with the 5 to 1 ratio to save a marriage.

    Thanks a lot for sharing though. God bless

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    • Oh, I doubt you’re the only one. At least 50% of married people must not agree…lol. And I don’t at all think this is the “only” thing to do in order to save a marriage…but it is obviously very important to be more positive vs. negative. Always appreciate your comments!

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    • There is always the possibility that the words kept inside could eventually explode.

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      • This makes me think of Marie and Frank on Everybody Loves Raymond. They say every horrible thing that pops into their heads, but it somehow works for them. 🙂

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      • Noel Williams (prhayz) www.prhayz.com

        Love, trust, honesty and commitment are the 4 ingredients for me

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  9. What a great idea! Thanks for sharing. 🙂 I’ve heard that philosophy about child-rearing before (praise 10x more than you correct, catch them being good ect) but never about marriage. Makes sense.

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    • Yes it does make sense. And I’m so thankful you and another great parent have pointed out the same need in our relationships with our children. I needed that reminder today! Hope you’re having a blessed weekend!

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  10. Reblogged this on AllThingsBoys Blog and commented:
    This is so worth reading–and it’s short!

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  11. Thanks! I reblogged this, because it’s too great not to.

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  12. Such an easy thing to do, really, isn’t it? And this praise vs. criticism practice translates to teacher/student interaction (for student success) as well, and to child-rearing, too, I would think. It seems that we are so quick to criticize, but we all really crave some words of encouragement–those “warm fuzzies”! Thanks for sharing!

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  13. I had heard of this somewhere too! Thanks for citing the article.

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  14. EXCELLENT idea!! Yes, I’m up for it.

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  15. Interesting findings presented here! Thanks for sharing this. I’ll take note for future reference 🙂

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  16. WOW, that is quite an interesting piece of information & statistic.

    I would have to keep that in mind with my future spouse haha.

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  17. Pingback: Good will hunting | dailymomprayers

  18. 5 to 1 – good advice, but I have discovered that praying for protection by a shield of faith is also helpful since the devil’s lies are often blurted out by others without thought for the damage they can do.
    Joy

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  19. Great sentiment, great concept.

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  20. purpleowltree1234

    I love this!! it’s so basic, yet useful and not necessarily obvious. I think the 5 to 1 ratio is important with everyone close to us- our partners, parents, KIDS, friends, etc. And seeing you’re into God, I’ll add this, how often do we do a 5 to 1 ratio with God; five thank yous to one criticism or request? I’d be impressed if we were even doing five criticisms or requests, to one thank you, some days.
    Love from Rach

    Reply

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