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How to create a 93% chance of success in your marriage!

I originally started this blog with the intention to mostly write about marriage & men stepping up as “servant leaders” in their homes, churches, and communities.  I’ve branched out quite a bit since then, which has been enjoyable.  But I still have a passion for the issues mentioned above.  Here is a great post I came across yesterday and wanted to share with others on wordpress.  This article can be found on Trey Morgan’s site.

I want to be a 5 to 1 husband!

Statistics on marriage scare me, but the Studer Group has released a new study on “Compliment to Criticism” ratio. They’ve told us from their studies, that people in general need 3 compliments given for every 1 criticism that is said to them. While that didn’t surprise me, the following statistic FLOORED me …

“Reports now show that when it comes to marriage, if you have a 5 to 1 compliment to criticism ratio, the divorce rate in that marriage drops from 50% to 7%.”

DID YOU CATCH THAT, husbands and wives? We are now learning how to beat the old statistic that says that 50% of all marriages will end in divorce. How? Give 5 compliments to your spouse for every 1 negative thing you say. When you take on the 5 to 1 plan, the divorce rate in your marriage drops to 7%. I like those odds!

My goal (and hopefully yours) today is to become a 5 to 1 kind of spouse. Today is a great day to start.

5 to 1 … that’s it! And the divorce rate goes from 50% to 7% … It’s time to pass the word.

You up for the 5-1 challenge with your spouse?


49 responses »

  1. Just for clarification, I only wrote the opening paragraph of this post. The rest is quoted from Trey Morgan’s blog & is linked in my opening.

  2. I may have to make this a household policy — using that ratio as a guide would be beneficial to all six of us!

  3. I love this! And it is so true! I believe with all certainty the secret to a lasting marriage is constant encouragements and compliments. Thanks for sharing this!

  4. five compliments daily is so minimal considering a marriage lasting for many years

  5. Spot on, good advice.

  6. Thanks for sharing this! I’m putting it out on FB now…

  7. Too late for me but that’s amazing. Should be easy; there’s so much good to say about women. 🙂

  8. Noel Williams (prhayz)

    I probably am the only one that do not agree with the 5 to 1 ratio to save a marriage.

    Thanks a lot for sharing though. God bless

    • Oh, I doubt you’re the only one. At least 50% of married people must not agree…lol. And I don’t at all think this is the “only” thing to do in order to save a marriage…but it is obviously very important to be more positive vs. negative. Always appreciate your comments!

    • There is always the possibility that the words kept inside could eventually explode.

      • This makes me think of Marie and Frank on Everybody Loves Raymond. They say every horrible thing that pops into their heads, but it somehow works for them. 🙂

      • Noel Williams (prhayz)

        Love, trust, honesty and commitment are the 4 ingredients for me

  9. What a great idea! Thanks for sharing. 🙂 I’ve heard that philosophy about child-rearing before (praise 10x more than you correct, catch them being good ect) but never about marriage. Makes sense.

    • Yes it does make sense. And I’m so thankful you and another great parent have pointed out the same need in our relationships with our children. I needed that reminder today! Hope you’re having a blessed weekend!

  10. Reblogged this on AllThingsBoys Blog and commented:
    This is so worth reading–and it’s short!

  11. Thanks! I reblogged this, because it’s too great not to.

  12. Such an easy thing to do, really, isn’t it? And this praise vs. criticism practice translates to teacher/student interaction (for student success) as well, and to child-rearing, too, I would think. It seems that we are so quick to criticize, but we all really crave some words of encouragement–those “warm fuzzies”! Thanks for sharing!

  13. I had heard of this somewhere too! Thanks for citing the article.

  14. EXCELLENT idea!! Yes, I’m up for it.

  15. Interesting findings presented here! Thanks for sharing this. I’ll take note for future reference 🙂

  16. WOW, that is quite an interesting piece of information & statistic.

    I would have to keep that in mind with my future spouse haha.

  17. Pingback: Good will hunting | dailymomprayers

  18. 5 to 1 – good advice, but I have discovered that praying for protection by a shield of faith is also helpful since the devil’s lies are often blurted out by others without thought for the damage they can do.

  19. Great sentiment, great concept.

  20. purpleowltree1234

    I love this!! it’s so basic, yet useful and not necessarily obvious. I think the 5 to 1 ratio is important with everyone close to us- our partners, parents, KIDS, friends, etc. And seeing you’re into God, I’ll add this, how often do we do a 5 to 1 ratio with God; five thank yous to one criticism or request? I’d be impressed if we were even doing five criticisms or requests, to one thank you, some days.
    Love from Rach


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