Feeling that tingle again, she shifted her feet—
feet that screamed for her to flee, running fast from
whomever, whatever was watching.
But acorns don’t choose where they fall, and
trees spring up growing tall. No matter how
chaotic their branches bend, they simply stand.
Still.
So she stood, gingerly
twirling too-short-cropped-hair,
eight inches cut off, no longer there.
Ponytail gone; no string to hang on.
Leaves loudly scraped pavement,
driven by winds that could not move this
Little Red Riding Hood, who simply stood.
Still.
written for Magpie Tales #108, Monday Melting #8, Real Toads “Open-Link Monday,” and dverse poets “Open-Link Night”
image by Uzengia Aleksander Nedic
New View From Here 
Nice. Love the tension.
Hey there…thanks for the visit and comment…enjoyed checking your blog out also!
Feeling that tingle again, she shifted her feet—
(frozen, but swaying from side to side slightly adjusting her weight distribution, afraid to make any sudden movements; she’s felt this intuitive warning before)
feet that screamed for her to flee, running fast from
(I love giving body parts the ability to function outside the normal realm; feet screaming at feet, the mind screaming at itself, voices we often choose to ignore for whatever reason)
whomever, whatever was watching.
(she’s unsure, but stalkers/killers typically know their victims in advance, track their every move for months)
But acorns don’t choose where they fall, and
(she can’t control where she’s ended up, who she is, what kind of
acorn she’s become … even though others might assume differently)
trees spring up growing tall. No matter how
(all children become grown-ups, stand tall outside even if not inside)
chaotic their branches bend, they simply stand.
(she’s lived a rough life; sometimes all she can bring herself to do is hold herself up, keep going through the motions, even if she’s motionless)
Still.
(love “Still” on its own line twice, standing still and still standing)
So she stood, gingerly
(I like double-using words by letting them hang at the end of a line, particularly after the comma; it allows the mind to envision it applying to both the word before and the word after … she stands gingerly, and she gingerly twirls her hair … this girl is barely holding on, so the last thing she can handle is fighting off an attacker; is she even willing to try? I don’t think so, since all she can manage to do is stand still. Also, she’s not even attempting to run. Perhaps she’s thinking maybe she should just give him and let her kill her. Is she even worth fighting for? Is she even worthy of a life? Wouldn’t it be easier to just disappear, even if it takes a bit of temporary pain.)
twirling too-short-cropped-hair,
(just cut off, reaching for familiarity in nervous anticipation, anxiety forcing her hand to places and things that no longer exist; she also feels cut short, that there’s too little substance holding her together, she’s a wisp of a thing, almost lighter than air … or hair)
eight inches cut off, no longer there.
(lengths of hair gone, years gone, childhood pain perhaps aged 8; that’s when she was cut off from this life, this race of people walking, running, racing through a life she’s barely part of; hardly even there)
Ponytail gone; no string to hang on.
(hair gone, childhood gone, innocence gone; her ribbon was lost in the shuffle, others taking what they wanted, this new predator about to take the last fragment of her essence as well; she’s got nothing left to hold on to, nothing worth fighting for, least of all herself)
Leaves loudly scraped pavement,
(she’s disengaging from the fear, noticing the motion and sound; only dead leaves, light, pressed upon by a heavy wind would make a scraping sound … a mirror of her existence, barely there and dead, all things surrounding tossing her about, she uncaring)
driven by winds that could not move this
Little Red Riding Hood, who simply stood.
(although the wind could move her soul, her body somehow stands strong despite the emptiness and lightweight nature of her insides; still a little girl, still helpless against an attacker … this girl was abused and has given up; I think the only control she has left is to decide to be overtaken rather than to be taken by force … in this, she has one last choice she is actually allowed to make)
Still.
(from beginning to end, from eight years old to eight inches of hair, her whole life still wrapped around the abuse and now coming to an end in the same way)
Wow…I’m honored that you have taken the time to explore several layers to this poem, and give your analysis. So much of what you see is what I had in mind, and then you add much as well. Love that you can do this with any piece of poetry (or other writing). No wonder I’m so fond of you! 😉
Thanks for bringing the prompts to my attention, and for making me feel like it was worth the time to respond to the prompts. 🙂
I’m glad you’re fond of me. I’m fond of you too. 🙂 I’m so glad you’re doing the prompts! It’s fun to do them together.
You know, it is fun. I never woulda thunk-it, but it is a lot of fun. 🙂
I know you like it when I break it down, so there ya go. 🙂
You know me so well 🙂 Awesome job of “breaking it down”…
there is something to be said of standing still, or standing, still….smiles….love the little details…the leaf scratching….
Thanks Brian…always enjoy getting your thoughts on a post of mine.
And yes, there is much to be said for both!
These are my favorites:
“acorns don’t choose where they fall”
“Ponytail gone; no string to hang on”
And then the use of “still” in the title and elsewhere, the double meaning.
Wow love your poem!!! Last time I did a search on poetry all I found was some teeny boppers melodramatic sillyness lol. Thanks for checking out my blog so I could stumble across yours! Can’t wait to read the rest of your poems!
Thanks Sarah….if you want to read some REALLY good poetry you should check out my wife’s site (she’s been commenting in this same thread) and some of the others who comment here and on her blog.
Thanks for the kind words, encouragement, visit, and comment. Look forward to reading more of your posts soon.
What he means to say is, “Thank you so much! I really appreciate the compliment.”
lol…you CAN read my mind! 😉
Wow! I never had such an image of Little Red Riding Hood before. Great work!
Thanks! Really wonderful to see you here and look forward to reading more of your blog!
It never ceases to amaze me what varied and wonderful poems grow from a handful of words. Enjoyed this and the comments that followed. That Shawna is a delight. Some brilliant, appreciating guy ought to snap her up and nurture that color changing flower. 😉
I agree Yousei…thank goodness I’m first in line! (and holding really big guns to scare away anyone else who even thinks about getting in line behind me!) 🙂
Love this!
Thanks !
I really enjoyed this! Besides the little girl at risk scenario, I looked at as the internal battle of the physical with the spiritual, like in meditating. Fighting the fear, fighting the thoughts and trying to be still.
Wow, I love your take on this. It’s amazing all the different interpretations & layers that can be found in poetry, and I really enjoy reading what people see in different writings. Thanks for your visit and comment!
There’s power in a ponytail…
LOL…yes there is…it can certainly bring a man to his knees!
Don’t you prefer braids? Pigtails are my favorite.
I do prefer braids…however, I’m a fan of all the different ways you have styled your hair…pigtails included. 😉
Wearing a ponytail right now, ya know.
sometimes it’s just the right thing to stand still…then there are times to move..not always easy to decide though…love the layers here..
Thanks Claudia…your comments are always greatly appreciated!
Ahhh, a woman who cuts her hair is transitioning deeply.
Yes, quite a bit of tension and mystery in this, reeled me in.
Thanks Jannie…and what is that about women and their hair, and it all relating to changes?!? I’ve noticed that frequently…
well folks… I have just found a new favorite poet! SOOOO happy to have came across you in the Pub!!!! I am following!!! This is good stuff right here now! 🙂 LOVE!!!
Wow, Kellie…very kind words! I look forward to reading some of your work as well…thanks again for your comment!
Kellie is awesome. Tell her you’re my husband. She’ll be very excited.
Just love this! 🙂
Thanks!
Very nice capture of the prompt…I specially like this verse:
So she stood, gingerly
twirling too-short-cropped-hair,
eight inches cut off, no longer there.
Reads like there is more to it ~
Thanks…I’m so glad you enjoyed this.
Cool piece, very nicely done. Love those individual word lines, using still as both a stopping point and a springboard, and leaving the poem with that word works great. Thanks, really enjoyed.
“both a stopping point and a springboard” … I like that. Great point.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment.
Wow – very impressive how you’ve woven so much into this and answered several prompts while doing it in this well-layered and nuanced poem …
http://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.com/2012/03/fog-at-dusk-is-crowded.html
Thank you so much for your visit & comment. Look forward to visiting your site soon.
LOL Little Red Riding Hood -> who would have thought!!!
depth of field
that was a surprise even to me ! 🙂
can’t wait to read “depth of field”
standing still and still standing – it’s an amazing and very clever poem. I love its intricacy.
Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts!
Here are this week’s words, sugar pie:
lily
doubt
flip
yes
helix
grief
later
cane
how
maple
Always happy to be a part of your word prompts 🙂
Love the rhythm of this, and the fairytale quality.
And especially this line:
“No matter how
chaotic their branches bend, they simply stand.”