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Oh No You Didn’t!

So you had an idea that I kind of liked;
Can’t remember why now, but I really was psyched.
“Let’s get married ‘fore the end of the century!
And give up your sports; can’t risk an injury.” 

“Two become one.”
Signed. Sealed. Done!
And while it was still ’99,
you showed yours and I showed mine.
“Two become one.” Could we have known what it means?
In-over-heads, newlyweds, barely out of our teens.
Love. Honor. Cherish. It would have been so awesome.
Had you only liked me and your mother-in-law some.
“Two become one.” Let’s get started!
Wedded bliss ruined? Just ’cause I farted?
I was such a good spouse, as everyone knew.
I’d have been completely selfless—had it not been for you!
So you had an idea that I (secretly) approved of;
let’s move on with our lives, find us some new loves.
Turned math upside down—that was so you!
Hired lawyers and judges, turned one into two.
written for Poetics “1999”

36 responses »

  1. two become one is def a process…and do we really know in that moment what it will take? i doubt it…and ugh, this took a nasty twist there at the end…

    • Thanks for your comments Brian…it did take a “nasty twist,” but it was for the best. This was actually a fun piece to write…time heals, and God has blessed in blessing me with an amazing wife & fam today…but this was certainly the defining event for my 1999.

    • and, thank goodness we don’t know what it will take…not sure any of us would ever get married! kind of like having children…

  2. wondering how many couples get married on such special dates but are not really prepared for what is coming…but then…who really is…?

    • Well my wife and I both got married in 1999…just not to each other! *wink* That’s a great point Claudia…about people rushing into marriage to meet certain dates or coincide with special events…I know I wasn’t nearly as ready as I thought I was! But God is good, and we indeed have been blessed to have another chance to “get things right” this time around. 🙂

      In the last decade or so, there’s been a lot of talk about “starter marriages”…youngish people getting married, it not working out, and then them moving on….hopefully wiser and more mature from the experience, better prepared for the “next time around.” I went into my first marriage with a very high view of the commitment, and every expectation of it being forever. But in the aftermath of what happened, it does kind of feel like a “starter” scenario.

  3. ok, you kow i love the “turned math upside down”

    i like the sway and the rhyme in this. it’s a great story, good expression.

    • Thanks Mama Z. One of the “clever” things I tried to incorporate into this piece were some words/expressions I would have used or heard frequently in 1999, like the title (oh no you didn’t), “psyched,” “so awesome,” etc.

      Thanks again for the visit & comment!

  4. gosh – two to one to two, all in the space of… one short lifetime of a poem – yes, cleverly done.

  5. Like I said in person, sweet husband o’ mine … I love the framing with you liking her ideas, first to get married and then to separate. I really enjoyed the humor in this. So many have been through it. And what on earth are you going to do but laugh about it at this point? 🙂

    Your ’90s lingo cracked me up: the title, “psyched,” “awesome” (which I will never stop using).

    Love this line: “you showed yours and I showed mine” … the sexual revealing and then the other stuff that’s soon to follow, like farting and nagging

    The hyphenated phrase “in-over-heads” as a noun was really clever word play to me, especially with the rhyme of “newlyweds” on its heels.

    “such a good spouse as everyone knew” … since you had told them, LOL

    “I’d have been completely selfless—had it not been for you!” … my favorite

    And the reverse of “two becomes one” by the end. Very nice job, babydoll.

    • Well thanks for the compliments and the analysis…always love it when you do that.

      And, you’re so right…nothing better to do now than just laugh about the whole sordid mess! *smile* Great prompt and fun to join in…

      By the way, I had to tell them so they wouldn’t believe all the horrible things she said about me *wink*

  6. I think most young couples are not prepared for the challenges of married life…Nice take on the prompt ~

  7. Well, I like math, but not that kinda math.
    But it’s a likely story…all’s you did was fart?
    Man, that’s rough.

  8. Great poem, exciting to the end with a good message!

  9. Thanks for the comment Wendell…the “good message” for me was learning to be much, much smarter about important life decisions! 🙂

  10. For such a serious and sad subject, this does have a rather light-hearted feel to it. I can tell you had fun with the writing of it. I’m looking forward to the time when writing about such things is lightening. (Ok. Enough whining.) I liked it, enjoyed it, and look forward to visiting again.

    • Yousei,

      I’m glad you see the “fun” in the poem. I’ll be just as hopeful as you for your future writes—that they can be light-hearted no matter how dark a season you have lived through. Glad you stopped by, and feel free to “whine” whenever you like. Believe me, I’ve done plenty of that myself in the not-to-distant-past ! *smile*

  11. This is light and extremely clever as written. I think the living of it must have had more drama certainly and possibly more angst. It’s good that you can look back on it tenderness and a sense of humor. Well done.

    • Thanks Gay…it certainly was a tough thing to live through…especially being young and idealistic! But, life has a way of “working out” and in that process you can indeed learn to laugh about almost any experience. Thanks for your visit and comment!

  12. I’m with her…farting on your wedding night is outrageous:) Everyone knows that one must be married for eight years before it is acceptable to fart freely…what were you thinking?

    • LOL….I’m not sure it was the actual wedding night…just early on! Guess I still had much to learn. Though I am happy to report I know of at least one lady who finds it humorous from time-to-time. Well, actually several little girls around me think it’s the funniest thing ever…their future grooms should have no worries! (Unless they can’t handle some reciprocation!)

  13. Ha! Been there, done that… but my “starter” (married at 21 and 22) lasted 17 years and what a tragedy it did not continue, but we have to pick up the pieces and move on. (I liked his mother… she was a really good and generous person.) I got a second chance too– it’s been fun, interesting, maddening, exciting, stressful, hopeful… you know how it goes.)

    Hey, I still use the word, “psyched”!

  14. I love the way you described them as one & the downfall was by something so minuscule that they were basically doomed from the beginning. Rushing into things blind-sighted!


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