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“Crumbling”

I trembled as the
fullness of that moment
reached its zenith.
Influx of emotions
ambushed this heart—
burbling joy quashed.
No doctor slap,
only stillborn wrap,
smocked and spooned by
crumb
          ling
                hands.
Wind chimes now memorialize;
vainly replacing sounds
you never breathed.
linked to Open Link Night at dverse poets and Monday Melting at rosemary mint
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17 responses »

  1. aw…..heartbreakingly beautiful.

    Reply
  2. Wind chimes now memorialize;
    vainly replacing sounds
    you never breathed. – Wow. Just sublime writing.

    Excellent work here.

    Reply
  3. oh lord…you just squeezed my heart hard…that last stanza is so sharp…nicely done…

    Reply
  4. Such loss is often so hard. The wind ringing chimes is such a fitting image for the death of one never to have been.

    Reply
  5. brought tears to my eyes…very well written…heartbreaking though…

    Reply
  6. This whole section is my favorite, especially the treatment of “crumbling”:

    “No doctor slap,
    only stillborn wrap,
    smocked and spooned by

    crumb
    ling
    hands.”

    Nice alliteration (stillborn, smocked, spooned) and rhyme (slap, wrap).

    The ending is so powerful. This is an excellent poem, even though it’s sad. Sometimes you just have to go where your fingers take you and see what you produce.

    Reply
  7. Oh yes, I also really liked the wind chimes. What a perfect way to bring things to the present; a memory like this would never fade.

    Reply
  8. This is piercingly beautiful–I’m so sorry for your loss. God–Who Is the God of Restoration–bless you abundantly today.

    Reply
    • Thanks for your comments and thoughts. I’ve enjoyed your poetry and writings as well.

      This actually isn’t a personal experience, but I do know of couples who have had similar experiences. This is just how the poem developed that day. And yes, prayers and blessings for all who have experienced such tragic loss.

      Reply
  9. I think this is a very fine poem indeed! This says pretty much everything that could be said, in a nutshell, to someone who hasn’t experienced this. The last two lines…. wonderful. Enough said.

    Reply
  10. Thanks dfb. Have enjoyed your work as well!

    Reply

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